IF HE`D DIED SOONER , HE WOULD HAVE LIVED LONGER…..
Let me get this straight as an opener : I am NOT talking about the deceit and dangerous nonsense of so called holy martyrdom with its spurious and phony promises about celestial bliss ; nor am I writing of suicide in any form . What a terrible waste and how enormously sad ! This is an internal matter . An issue of the heart . The place where ego is king and I am the center and circumference of my world .
It manifests in selfishness , self (ego) preservation , little or no concern for others , and lack of 'human affection.' It looks like anger , pride , superiority, perfectionism , judgments , lust, vanity and violence .
This title was given to me by a Pastor friend in UK who heard it from another preacher . So I cannot claim originality ! It`s in the context of Samson – one of the leaders in old Israel who spent his life in vanity , lust and self centeredness. He also did outstanding feats that enhanced his reputation . In every crisis he faced , his first reaction was to look after number one and to hell with the consequences .
Finally , blinded , humiliated and with his once so impressive hair shaved off , he called on the Lord ( as the hair began to grow again !) and gave up all hope of self preservation as he deliberately chose to please God first , without regard to the outcome . He achieved more in last act than in the whole of his previous life according to the scriptures .
The mystery is this : you 'lose' your life , you find it . In 'dying to self', we gain freedom from the tyrannies that so dominate us . To be able to truly say : 'Not my will , but Yours be done ' , is freedom !
If you`re the biggest part of your world , your world is too small . Ego is too demanding and will take you down . This is part of what Paul says : 'I identified myself completely with Christ . Indeed I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central . It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion and I am no longer driven to impress God . Christ live in me…..' That`s a much better and much bigger world to live in ..
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